Afraid
by xXxSexyZexyxXx
Summary: Axel has been bullied for what has felt like all of his life. When he finally gets fed up with it all, a stranger pulls him away from the edge. Rated M. Eventual AkuRoku.
1. Chapter 1: Beginning of the End

**Summary: Axel has been bullied for what has felt like all of his life. When he finally gets fed up with it all, a stranger pulls him away from the edge. **

**Rating: M, for death, violent themes, sexual themes, blood, drama, and gore. **

**Based upon the song "Afraid," by The Neighbourhood. They're sex. Listen to them.**

**AN: A new story?! Zexy, it's been forever since an update! Yes, I know, but if I don't write this down NOW I'll blow up. This is sort of a vent fic, and I want it to be really long, but I don't think it can. This story will have two endings when I get done, and the reader will be able to pick which ending they want! Yay! So let's begin!**

The summer night was sticking to my skin, perspiration dripping down my back muscles slowly. I wiped my brow, sweat faintly brushing my hand. The drag I had taken from my cigarette drifted through the night like fog, and as I sat and watched it fade, I recalled the events from life all at once, hitting me like a truck.

When I was a child, only seven if I remember correctly, my family had moved to Nashville, Tennessee from a tiny, unknown town in Arizona. Back then I had thought moving would be a fun, new experience for my naivety had yet to catch me. When I entered second grade, I had tried strenuously to make new friends. However, being new, no one would talk to me. The few that did had only negative words, and soon I detatched from my peers. Growing up, I had only one friend named Demyx. The only reason we became friends was for the fact that we both had a common unusualness that kept the others from us. Still, he was great company and became my best friend, and he still is to this day.

Going into high school was a new world of its own. I thought that no one would know me, that all the middle schools would pour into this solitary high school; I was wrong. My abnormality spread like wildfire in just the first week of being there, and in the flick of a wrist, Demyx and I were discarded to the outskirts once more. I dealt with it for a while, and I'm still dealing with it, but something keeps getting in the way.

Although we were outcasts, we found a league of our own. I made new friends, and although few, they have been there for me through thick and thin. But the warmth of these people did nothing to keep me from the cold sneers of everyone else. Today, for instance, I was tossed under the bus.

I walked into school, glasses on my face like always, my freshly-dyed red hair tied onto the crown of my head in a ponytail, music beating between my ears. My feet took me to the small pavilion in the school garden, the sole sanctum for me and my friends. Roxas was sitting on the bench talking animatedly to Marluxia about something I couldn't hear. I plopped my bag next to Roxas, giving him a scare to which he flinched.

"Axel!" he croaked. I gave a faint smile, receiving his full grin in return. Marluxia, one of my senior friends, gave me a look with no welcome whatsoever. Larxene, another senior, sat by him and scowled. She and Marluxia apparently were friends since diapers, and the two seniors had an obvious distaste for me, for whatever reason. Those two I didn't mind; they freaked me out anyways.

"So, Axel," Roxas began, "how was your weekend?" He smiled when he said it, and it almost made me grin with him. Almost.

"Yeah," Larxene sneered, "get fucked in the ass?" She smirked as if she had said the world's funniest joke, and Marluxia apparently thought she did with the way he cackled.

I scowled and looked down to the wooden surface of the table.

"I'm not gay, Larxene, for the last time." It pained me every time I had to point this out because I felt sure everyone knew I was lying. My face became hot, and I was positive they could tell, because she pressed on.

"No need to get your thong in a wad! I was just teasing. You're surely on top, right, faggot?" I clenched my fists, Roxas looking to me with a sad expression. I couldn't take him looking at me like that; I loved him too much for that hurt to be caused by me.

Taking my silence as anger, for once Larxene let up. "Fucking ass… Fine, don't answer me." She grabbed Marluxia's hand and led him away, a trail of annoyed curses following her.

Roxas grabbed my shoulder firmly, causing me to look at him. His eyes were sad, and I noticed him mouth was teetering on a smile, as if he was unsure if he should be consoling or empathizing.

"Hey," he started, "you know it's okay if you were, right?" He decided on a frown, I suppose not to edge me on.

His face screamed something at me, like I should just accept him, but for some reason he just made me angrier. He didn't know I liked him, which was good; but I felt like he was playing with the secret I held, and that pissed me off to no end.

"I'm not…" I croaked. His ears perked, and his hand went slack on my shoulder.

I stood and shoved him away. "I'm not fucking queer." I staggered away, not seeing the blue irises blinking away angry tears.

Like the cigarette in front of my feet, I'm dying inside. I'm so tired of the bullshit around me, and I can't stand it. Fingering the cuts zigzagging along my forearm, I get up and make my decision. Pulling on my kicks, I decide to go to the church's clock tower, an iconic building in this town*. I'm going to die. I can't take this static raging in my brain any longer.

The walk to the tower was longer than it took for the feeling in my chest to slowly creep through my insides, trying to make me back out. Shaking my head, I climb the stairs of the unoccupied building to my death. Reaching the door to the roof, I step through. Hauntingly, the lights of the city gleam at me, winking, waiting for my impending doom. I want to laugh at how final this is. It's almost like I'm realizing that life seriously means nothing, that the people giving me shit are pawns that can be discarded at any second. It's almost enough to make me turn around, but I stay. I walk to the ledge and sit, opening a can of coke I purchased from the drugstore down the street. Sipping slowly, I realize this is the last thing that will ever enter my body. I chuck it with force from the tower, not looking to see what happened to its remains, for I will soon take its place. I stood, eerily eyeing the Hell before me. I took down my hair, feeling the cool air blow through it, through me. Closing my eyes I jump, not caring what lies ahead.

Falling—I am still falling. I feel like I've been falling forever, and I'm not sure if death is supposed to truly be this drawn out. A voice rang through my head, almost scaring me to death before the impact of the jump.

"Are you sure you want this?"

I thought for a second, confused if this was my conscience.

"What?" Suddenly I'm no longer falling. Instead, I'm in a dark room, almost pitch black to the point of seeing nothing in front of me.

"I said," the voice remarked, "are you sure death is what you seek?" I almost feel the warm breath on my cheek, and I reach out a hand to the void space. A light flickered on, and a girl was in front of me. She had dark hair, like a raven, and her face was familiar yet far from memory. My hand groped the air in front of me. Is she real? I thought.

"I am real, Axel." My eyes widening, she laughs quietly.

"I'm your guardian." I laugh hotly.

"Seriously? Like my guardian angel or some shit? This can't be real." Her smile turns to a glower as she puts a hand to her hip.

"No, I am a death warden. I try to ward away as many people from death as I can, mostly because half of the people who die regret being sent to Heaven or Hell or to any afterlife." I respond with nothing, and she sighs in annoyance.

"I am in the inbetween, as are you. I am giving you a choice. Do you want to die, or not?"

I swallow the thick spit in my throat, contemplating the reality before me.

"I think I do," I murmur, and the girl gives her hand to me. I take it unsurely, and when our fingers touch I am suddenly in my room. I almost sigh in relief that this acid trip is over before I see her sitting on my bedspread.

"Xion," she remarked. "That is my name. And I know everything about you, from birth to now." I scratch my head, and before I can question her, she in interrupts.

"You want to die because you don't fit in and you're bullied, correct?" I nod complacently. She smiles sadly at me, and I know at that point I'm in something bigger than I thought.

"You want to die?" She stands abruptly before me, her oceanic eyes boring into mine.

I swallow, unsure of what to say. She grabs my hands in hers, and I feel tremendous power lurching through her veins.

"I will show you the aftermath of what would be your death. Then, you can decide if you still want to die."

Xion leads me through a bright light, and finally a though occurs to me. This cannot be good.

***= I have no idea if this is really in Nashville or not. I live in Tennessee, which is why the story is set here, but I have only been to Nashville once. Sorry ;A;**

**I hope you guys like this, though! This point of view is hard for me. I keep forgetting to make everything present tense and ugh. Review your thoughts, please! **


	2. Chapter 2: The Parents

**Summary: Axel has been bullied for what has felt like all of his life. When he finally gets fed up with it all, a stranger pulls him away from the edge. **

**Rating: M, for death, violent themes, sexual themes, blood, drama, and gore. **

**Based upon the song "Afraid," by The Neighbourhood. They're sex. Listen to them.**

**AN: Yay, chapter two! Every chapter will be one person Axel sees react to his death, just so you guys know. It goes up from least to most important to the plot. Enjoy!**

When my eyes cracked open, I felt as if I had slept a thousand nights, the feeling foreign to me. Xion was perched next to me on the ledge of a brown roof. Realizing my surroundings, I sat up slowly and looked around. We were on top of a house. By looking down into the yard, I saw we were on top of _my _house. I looked to Xion confusedly as she rose slowly.

"Ready?" she asked, a smile drawn on her face. I nodded, still perplexed, and she took my hand. We jumped almost in slow motion, as if floating, to the yard. A cop car was parked in front, and from the sun's tiny screen displayed, I realized this must be the morning after.

The cop sighed and rubbed a clammy hand down his face. He knocked precisely three times before my mother drearily opened the front door.

"Ma'am," the cop started with agony, "can I come in? You may want to get your husband." My mom looked at him inquiringly in a never-ending question never spoken, but nevertheless she opened the door farther inviting him in.

My parents were sitting on the couch, still in pajamas, my mom gripping my father's hand as he sat blankly staring at the cop. The cop remained standing, showing respect by removing his hat.

"Ma'am," he murmured. "Sir," the couple eyed him warily.

"Your son, he seems to have, well," he paused, my mother becoming horror-stricken and my dad sitting up a little straighter.

"Axel is believed to have committed suicide." There was a long, noticeable pause where the room suddenly collapsed and no one could move. My mom finally gasped, tears progressing down her cheeks. She sobbed, and my dad held her, muffling his cries in her hair.

The cop shuffled his feet, awkward and unsure and sad, before speaking once more.

"We found his body this morning." My dad coughed, hiding his grief, before questioning him.

"Where?" he choked. "Where did my boy do this?"

The cop cleared his throat before awkwardly answering, "The clock tower; he jumped."

At this point I felt my stomach in my throat and guilt-ridden tears forming in my lashes. I looked away as Xion grabbed my hand to comfort me.

"Do you still want to die?" I eyed her inquiringly.

"I… I think I still do. I know they'd miss me, but I can't handle this life. They'll move on, I'm sure." She gave me a pout, obviously angered by my decision.

"You think they'll move on?" I nodded, unsure. "Let's fast forward fifteen years." With a snap of her fingers, we moved forward in time. My parents were much older; that much was obvious.

My mom was sitting in a recliner I hadn't ever seen knitting quietly to herself. When I was alive, she never knitted; I didn't even know she knew how. I looked closer to the pattern to see what she was knitting. It looked like a sweater fit for a man, and a small "32" was sewn onto the left-hand pocket.

She put down her needles, seemingly finished, before holding it up with tears in her eyes.

"He would have been thirty-two today, Scotty." Scotty was a daschund I also had never seen in my lifetime. He looked like an old dog, and I realized they must have got him to replace me. I looked at him curiously before my mother broke into tears. I sadly looked away and decided to find my dad. I was halfway up the steps before Xion pulled my arm as if to stop me.

"Axel," she commanded. I looked to her in annoyance, and her grip tightened.

"Are you sure you want to know?" Nodding, she let my arm go but drew breath to signal she was about to speak.

"Your father is dead, Axel." My eyes widened in shock, and I opened my mouth before Xion continued.

"He died a few months back; he died in his sleep. The doctors told your mom it was from a depression/stress-induced heart attack." I backed away staggering as it dawned on me: I was the reason my dad died.

"Now are you sure, Axel? Do you need to die?"

I started crying in my old hallway, freaking out at everything she was throwing at me. Xion sat beside me, waiting for me to stop. Sniffling, I turned to her.

"I hate seeing them like that, I do. But sadly, I still… I—I'm not sure anymore."

"I'll show you the next, then." She stood silently.

I got up wiping my face before confusedly asking her, "Who?" She only smiled in return.


	3. Chapter 3: The Sister

**Summary: Axel has been bullied for what has felt like all of his life. When he finally gets fed up with it all, a stranger pulls him away from the edge. **

**Rating: M, for death, violent themes, sexual themes, blood, drama, and gore. **

**Based upon the song "Afraid," by The Neighbourhood. They're sex. Listen to them.**

**AN: CHAPTER THREE YES. I have crazy insomnia, and it was between fanfiction and painting… I thought of your lovely reviews (thank you!) and decided FANFICTION! And I decided to respond to reviews from now on! So if you have any questions/ideas, let me know and I'll respond! And just so you know, I'm listening to jazz while writing this… so it may be weird XD**

**Scarlet Lawliet: Yes, Axel is reacting to all these people seeing him dead. And no, Roxas isn't this chapter ^_^ he will be near the end because he is the most important to the plot. You'll have to stay tuned ;)**

**Blood as soft as silk: Thank you so much for reviewing! I will try to update frequently ;A; I work 6/7 days a week.. So bear with me!**

**DatGuest/Lucas: Haha I honestly laughed out loud at your review! …even if your threat was weak… XD thank you!**

**Bitterbeauty813: I'm glad you like it! I'll update again ASAP!**

We appeared in a lightly decorated pink room, one barely familiar to my eyes. Scanning the room, I noticed a petite redhead crouched in the corner of the room where the bed edge met the wall. My eyes widening I realized it was my sister. She was crying silently with a picture frame smashed on the carpeted floor. I walked over slowly as if she could see me and picked up the gold-rimmed frame. The picture inside was a poorly taken Easter photo from our childhood. In the picture I am ten years old, making Kairi eight. We're holding hands in our fancy Easter attire, and the crack in the glass seems to separate our hands.

"Fucking Axel," she sniffs, startling me from my stupor.

"Why did you have to do this to yourself? Why did you do this to us, to me?"

In my trance, I walked to her bed and sat on the edge, water coming quickly to me eyes.

"I'm sorry, Kairi. I'm so sorry, but I had to. Do you understand?"

I placed my cold, nonexistent hand on her knee. Kairi obviously couldn't feel it, for she removed the organ as she lay her head down to sob fanatically. I almost broke down myself, my breath catching in my throat and seeming to strangle me. I let out a wet sob and grabbed her shoulders yet again unnoticed.

"I'm fucking sorry, okay?! I can't take this fucking life anymore! I hate it!"

Kairi's sobs let up, almost as if she heard me. I wasn't sure why at the time, but this also seemed to startle Xion, for her breath caught and she took one frantic step forward before pausing.

"Kairi," I started, tears cascading from my face and she sniffled quietly to herself, "I love you, kid." I got up to leave and Kairi's head suddenly jerked up.

"A… Axel?" My eyes widened quickly, as did Xion's. I turned to seeing a red-faced Kairi searching the empty space where I once was.

A gloved hand grabbed my bicep forcefully and I turned to catch Xion's eye.

"We need to go," she stated firmly. Before I could speak she had clicked her fingers and we were in the white oblivion we started off in.

Angry and hurt I snapped at her, "Why the fuck did you take me away?!" She looked the floor gloomily before looking to me with her own furry in her cold, cerulean eyes.

"We made contact, you twit. Contact is not allowed, so I had to remove you. If you had stayed, there would have been an imbalance in the world and life may have collapsed within itself if not stopped." My mouth dried excessively as she spoke, fear rising in my chest. Finally she sighed and walked past me into a floating portal I hadn't noticed before.

"Let's just move onto the next," she murmured. Hurriedly I followed after, dreading the next heartbreak to follow.

In the blink of an eye we were somewhere else, somewhere completely unfamiliar. My surroundings were barely lighted, so I didn't notice much other than the fact the place was small and seemingly uninhabited.

"Where are we?" I glanced around at the paint-chipped walls of the hell-hole as Xion looked sadly to me.

"You'll see as soon as she arrives."

I thought to myself with confusion, 'who is _she_?'

**AN: So who is she?! …You'll see soon enough -evil grin-** **mwahaha!**

**Until next time, lovelies! Review for sexiness! Or cookies. Whichever you prefer :3**


	4. Chapter 4: The Witch

**Summary: Axel has been bullied for what has felt like all of his life. When he finally gets fed up with it all, a stranger pulls him away from the edge. **

**Rating: M, for death, violent themes, sexual themes, blood, drama, and gore. **

**Based upon the song "Afraid," by The Neighbourhood. They're sex. Listen to them.**

**AN: Here is the next installment! I've noticed my word count has been way lower than I intended, which sucks! So this chapter I'll try to make extra-long! Hopefully this dubstep will fuse with my brain and create magic.**

**Bitterbeauty813: Thank you for your review! I was hesitant to add that scene in the last chapter, so I'm glad you liked it!**

**Stubborn Blonde: LUCAS! I was hoping you'd show up again! Sexy cookies for you! If you know what I mean… XD I'm so glad you're in love with my story! If you really like it, you'd probably like my others, too! Although I kind of suck at multitasking… but oh well!**

**The Lillyz: Ahhh thank you so much! Here it is!**

A metal clanking sounded at the door, notifying that whoever this mystery woman was had just arrived to the show. Nervously I stood from the moldy couch to peer around the door as she walked through. A high-pitched voice made its way to my ears and my resolve cracked around me as I immediately recognized the evil lacing her tone.

"No, Marluxia, I'm not going. That kid meant nothing to me." She stalked into the trailer and slammed the door shut, throwing her keys on the end table by the frame.

"So what? It's not my fault he killed himself. That little faggot deserved it." I heard loud squawking from the other end, meaning Marluxia was yelling.

The blonde suddenly turned around to make her way to the couch I previously inhabited, and it took seconds prolonged into minutes to realize Larxene wasn't actually looking at _me _with her piercing green eyes.

She sighed into the receiver, "Okay, Marly, if it matters that much to you I'll go. But if you're expecting me to cry or some shit you're going to be disappointed." With that she hung up and flopped onto the couch beside me, obviously unaware of my presence. She grabbed the remote to her tiny television and clicked the screen to life. A random show about teenage pregnancy came on as Larxene barely acknowledged the pictures moving on screen.

Her mind seemed elsewhere as her eyes clouded over and her stare was seemingly placed towards nothing in particular. A scowl laced her dainty cheeks as her mind seemed to focus back into reality.

"Fuck," she muttered. Drawing her legs into herself, her body slanted towards me and I made no effort to move away. It was strange to see this malicious creature acting so normal now that I was gone. It was almost mesmerizing, almost sad.

"Axel, you little bitch." My ears perked to her words, and if I had been around I would've lost it and started yelling. Since I technically was dead and unable to do anything, I simply sat and awaited further dialogue to unravel.

"You didn't need to take everything I said to heart, dumbass. I was just…" She ended her thoughts there, leaving me hanging desperately. She was just what, kidding? Messing with me? Joking around, being my friend?

"What, Larxene?! What did you fucking intend to do?! You made my life hell! You made everyone hate me, even my friends! Fuck you!"

Larxene amazingly started crying. The picture of her in a ratty little trailer crying to herself is a memory I will never be able to wipe from my mind. It dawned on me in that maybe Larxene was just trying to find someone worse off than herself, and I became the target.

"Do you regret it?" I murmured, unheard by my tormentor. "Do you regret," I swallowed, "killing me?"

Larxene's sobs grew tenfold, and suddenly I wanted to cry with her; so I did. We sat in that musty living room for minutes that seemed like hours just crying.

"I-I'm," she screamed through her tears, "I'm so fucking sorry!"

In her daze she continued loud sobs and a mantra of "I'm sorry" until she promptly passed out with exhaustion. Realizing how she felt, how true her words were, suddenly I felt like I was the one who should be sorry. I should be sorry for dying, for not realizing she just needed my help. All Larxene really needed, I concluded, was a friend.

"I forgive you," I whispered. Standing, I wiped away evidence of my guilt and humility before turning to Xion. Surprisingly she was standing alone in the corner, silently crying also.

"Do you understand now, Axel? Not all things are as obvious as they are made to seem."

I nodded, wiping the snot from my upper lip loudly, uncaring how she viewed me for it.

"Yes, Xion, I see now how blinded I truly was." She gave a small smile before giving that awkward laugh that sounds distinctly like choking that you get after you've cried for hours.

"Finally," she said, "are you ready to go back?" My face became stern, and I knew I needed to see for myself how everyone else was before the finality of life was placed onto me again.

"No," I murmured. Her eyes widened; she almost seemed mad, but I knew in earnest she was just puzzled by my actions.

"Why the hell not?! You still want to die, to leave her like this?!" I shook my head curtly as my green eyes pierced her cerulean.

"I need to see for myself," I started slowly, "how everyone else is. I can't live knowing that Larxene was the only one with an excuse."

Compassion mixed with understanding cascaded through Xion's features as she smiled brightly and took my hand gently into hers.

"Let's go," she snapped, and we were somewhere else.

The change of scenery was so dramatic that I was almost overwhelmed with confusion. Instead of a tiny trailer, we were ostensibly in a giant mansion on the hillside of the other end of town.

"Xion," I began cautiously, "don't tell me we're at—" She put a slender finger to my lips before smirking menacingly.

"Patience, my dear Axel, is quite the virtue to possess." I wanted to kill her.

**AN: Oh, Xion, ruining the moment. I hope you guys liked this chapter! It was depressing, right? Larxene in this chapter is the typical "bully," in which that she inflicts her pain onto other people. I was going to explain in this chapter why she lives by herself, but I think no one really cares XD so who is the next mystery guest? Until next time, loves! Xoxo **


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